New Members to the Crew, Human and Otherwise
by RomanceMe
Summary: Despite all of his charms, Wash can't win Zoe over. Perhaps purchasing a duck would help? PreWashZoe.
1. Chapter 1

**A New Member to the Crew; Human and Otherwise**

Summary: Despite all of his charms, Wash can't win Zoe over. Perhaps purchasing a duck would help? Pre-Wash/Zoe.

Author's Note: I love Wash. He's just so funny :) Also, this would be my first Wash/Zoe fic. My friend suggested I write one because she says there are hardly any good ones out there. Now, don't get me wrong, when I say that, I am _not _announcing this is one of the good ones. And, don't hold me to what she told me either; I didn't do any research and have no idea how many people do write them. Or read them. Or 'ship them. I just wrote the gorram story, _dong ma_? lol, cheers.

Unbeta'd.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jayne's grunts. Okay, okay, I know, so this isn't a story about Jayne. I don't own Wash's red hair. Happy now?

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Zoe glanced at her watch. The boys should have been home an hour ago. As if on cue, the great door of the ship lowered down. The sun was blinding bright, and sand blew around in dry whirls. Mal and Jayne had taken Wash, the new pilot, on field that day, and now each regretted even thinking about bringing him along. His incessant chatter got old—fast. Jayne stepped on even before the door was fully lowered, impatient to get to his bunk. 

"Jayne!" barked Mal, warningly. The job had gone all wrong, it was hot as blazes, the damn train didn't arrive on time, and Wash got it in his head that he wanted to buy a duck. He was not going to have the door on his ship collapse just because a certain mercenary had no self control.

Jayne grunted in response.

Mal pointedly waited until the entrance was clear before he came on himself.

"Hello Jayne. Hello Mal," Zoe greeted them, as they passed by, covered in sweat and dust.

Another grunt from Jayne. And a grunt from Mal.

"Hello, Oh Handsome One! Why, hello Zoe. What? I'm doing fine, what about you?" Wash recited as he boarded the ship, gesticulating with his left hand, as his right hand was supporting something rather large. Grinning, he strode over to where Zoe was standing.

Without even turning from what she was doing, Zoe stated apathetically, "Don't tell me that's what I think it is."

"Did you know that birds are directly related to dinosaurs? They actually have the scaly legs and talons like the legendary beasts once did," rolled off Wash with his never-ending mantra of useless facts.

"That's a duck."

"Okay, well yeah," Wash answered, nodding his head and rolling his eyes, "but ducks are _like_ birds. Wait. Ducks are birds!"

"Yes. Ducks are birds," Zoe replied, smiling tightly, and widening her eyes in emphasis. The pilot was really irritating.

Holding the large white bird up high, Wash continued, "Well, I got him for you, sweet bunny-plum."

Pursing her lips, Zoe dismissed the pet name and tried not to fume at the red head's annoying presence. She concentrated deeply at the papers in front of her.

When she hadn't even raised her head to acknowledge the gift, Wash went on in mock hurt, "Well, I'll be in the control room with Pete. All alone. Just me. And Pete. No one else." He started walking away, and when she still had not said anything, he added, "That's the duck, by the way: Pete," and continued on, singing a sad tune (also, quite _off _tune) and cradling the bird in his arms like a baby. Pete squawked in protest.

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	2. Chapter 2

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-- 

"ARRRK EEARRRK!" _Clump._

Zoe had reached her gun before she had even sat fully up in her bed. Light slimmed into her bunk from the opened hatch door. Ears strained, she listened as she held her pistol directly in front of her.

_Thump. Thump, thump._

As the intruder moved through her room, he made a lot of noise, clothes rustling, even running into things.

Zoe slowly reached for her lamp and pulled the switch. As it turned on, she saw the culprit who had started making a racket; flapping his wings furiously in objection to the bright light. Between the croacks and quacks, Zoe had squeezed one eye shut and prepared to plaster the bird into the wall.

"Ahh! No, don't do that!" A voice shouted. It sounded from above her door.

Zoe looked up, meeting the face of the pilot. It looked utterly panicked, and he himself had proceeded to come down, head first in effort to get inside quicker. Thus Zoe had the second thing _clump _in her room in the past five minutes.

Jumping up onto his feet Wash started to run toward Zoe but stopped abruptly as she had moved her target to a new one. He stared a the barrel of the gun, a mere six feet away, and as scared as he was, it wouldn't have been any different if it was on top of his eye. "Heh," was all he could get out. He sheepishly smiled, like a boy who had just been discovered painting the family dog. Despite his situation, he couldn't help himself a look at the woman before him. She stood strong, with her head tightly wrapped in a red and orange scarf, holding back the jungle of curls. Her burnt-caramel skin was luminescent from the sheen of sweat reflecting the soft light. His thoughts were interrupted with the said woman.

"What in the hell's name are you doing in my bunk at two o'clock in the morning?"

Swallowing nervously, Wash eyed the gun before trying to explain himself. "Well, I had, out of my kind and compassionate- eep!" he squeaked as Zoe pulled back the cock in emphasis. He hurried on, "Er, heart, I bought you a duck. You forgot to get him yesterday, so I brought him to you." Wash ended with a smile, now like a boy's who had just finished his rationalization of why he had to cut all of his sister's hair off.

The duck had now waddled over and sat on Zoe's feet. She didn't even glance at it.

"Get out."

"Heh. Okay," Wash said, trying at least to get a peek closer at those wonderful legs, "here'll I'll just take Pe-"

"No. He stays, you get out. Now."

Man, was she beautiful when she took charge. He had only a moment to ponder before he bolted up and out of her room in fear of getting being decapitated.

Zoe sighed with relief, sinking into her bed. The overgrown bird got up and walked to beside her legs and raised his head up expectantly. Unable to resist, Zoe placed her fingers onto the top of its head. She gently scratched before moving down his neck, Pete arching in approval and to let her get better access. Laughing at the duck's demanding personality, she gently picked him up and placed him on the bed beside her. After she turned out the light, she laid down and pulled up the covers for Pete to crawl under. He did so, and turned around several times situating himself. Once he decided he was comfortable enough he flopped down with a content "quack", his head on Zoe's stomach, already nearly asleep. Zoe followed suit moments after.

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End file.
